A mental battle...

As I sit here, stuck in my cubicle during lunch as I watch the snow come down hard, really hard, I begin to reminisce...

I have never been a racer, I was more of a practice kind of gal. Back in high school swimming, I could keep up with people during sets at practice when they would blow me out of the water during meets. I was known to psych myself out. That mentality followed me as I started to run races. I'd do training runs faster than my goal pace, but wouldn't be able to come close to it for the real deal.

Around Nov 2008, right after I trained my butt off yet *bombed* the Detroit half marathon a few weeks back, I decided I wanted to do something extreme. I know I'm not a good runner. Any person out there who puts in a few month of endurance training can easily beat my PR. So why not try for a triathlon (as a mediocre swimmer, I have a slight upper hand)...and what better one to conquer than the Ironman 70.3 (or what I like to call "0.5 Fe-man"), which is a 1.2mi swim, 56mi bike, 13.1mi run. And so the story begins on how I coerced my two high school swimmer friends, KT and J-Woww, to train with me. The 5 months of training was simultaneously enjoyable as it was brutal. It not only changed me physically, but mentally as well...

My body has since returned to pre-half-ironman plumpness with my love handles ever-so-present. But I feel like mentally I may have come out stronger. I learned to enjoy racing and not to stress on my performance. To enjoy the fact that I am able to do any sort of physical activity. To be grateful to have a husband who lets me get away w/ skipping some wifely duties to train. To be thankful to have family and friends who don't mind wasting 6+ hours of their lives to come watch me race.

I've been slightly hesitant to sign up for another race, b/c I will inevitably have to fight w/ my "old self" again. But, I decided today, I'm gonna do it. I'm going to sign up for a half marathon this spring, and I'm even going to put a goal time out there - 1:53, two whole minutes faster than my current PR. Hopefully, I'm still as strong mentally as I was a little over a year ago...